C'est Tiff

C'est moi, 15歲還沒去過淡水, 就流浪到英國成了小留學生, 對巴黎一無所知卻很想住巴黎, 想當藝術家卻始終是個大公司裡的 small potato, 夢想很多卻少了那麼點不顧一切的衝動, 我的blog就是用來抒發我那矛盾的生活理想與幻想

Monday, May 17, 2010

Just In Case .. .. ..

A friend of mine once told me, he always lives in the moment and only believes what he sees and feels right at that very moment .. .. ..

Coming from a traditional Asian family, I was told to save for the future and to always prepare for failure. I often expect for the worst and forget to hope for the best. My dad always tells me to save every possible penny just in case .. .. ..

Just in case .. .. .. I realized that I have been trapped for all my life for the "just in case". I was told to be conservative, to play safe, to make sure that it's all clear before taking the next step, to be prepared for the "just in case". One other thing that my dad told me is that the more you sacrifice now the more rewards you will receive at the end.

I was quite convinced by all these "just in case" theories until recently that something has been bugging me and couldn't help wondering: Isn't life built up by every moment that we go through, isn't life a journey instead of a destination, okay, if it's really a destination, where will life take us? And .. .. .. if we don't enjoy this moment, what more can we expect or do we actually know what are the possibilities and how sweet can that be if we had never tasted sweet?? Moreover, what if the expectation grew so great and whatever turned out was not exactly what you had in mind .. .. .. but there is no way to turn the clock back and you had lost all the chances to experience what you could have, what would you do?

Big question mark, really ... ... do we live in the moment or do we preserve for a "better future" (as if there is a "better future")? I guess we just need to reach some sort of balance so that we don't fall into the unhealthy cycle of self-pity.

I will therefore:
- pack my bag and make the trip with or without company whenever I need an escape
- try my best to hope for the best
- keep on being a little naive and let the child inside of me stay for as long as I live
- laugh out loud even at stupid jokes
- get up and move on instead of sit and cry, no matter what
- not let anybody tell how I should live my life


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